Emotional pain

emotional painEmotional (psychological, mental) pain is a horrendous feeling (suffering) of a mental, non-physical birthplace. A pioneer in the field of suicidology, Edwin S. Shneidman, depicted it as “how much you hurt as a human being. It is mental suffering; mental torment.” There is no deficiency from numerous points of view emotional pain is alluded to, and utilizing an alternate word ordinarily mirrors an accentuation on a specific part of mental life. Specialized terms include algopsychalia and psychalgia, however, it might likewise be called emotional pain, psychic pain, mental pain, social pain, spiritual or soul pain, or suffering. While these are not proportionate terms, one deliberate examination of theories and models of emotional, psychological, psychic pain and suffering inferred that each portrays the equivalent significantly unpleasant feeling. Emotional pain is accepted to be an inevitable part of human existence.

Different explanations of emotional pain are “a wide range of subjective experiences characterized as an awareness of negative changes in the self and its functions accompanied by negative feelings”, “a diffuse subjective experience … differentiated from physical pain which is often localized and associated with noxious physical stimuli”, and “a lasting, unsustainable, and unpleasant feeling resulting from the negative appraisal of an inability or deficiency of the self”.

Emotional pain can turn into dependence on certain individuals. Overpowered with feelings like sadness, guilt, shame, fear or depression, these emotions become so normal and consistent that you may feel like it’s a piece of you and you can’t envision existence without it. 

When you are constantly presented to mental pain, there are changes in the cerebrum that delivers a reliance on those feelings. And as this kind of pain can be intensive and weakening, when it proceeds for a delayed timeframe, it likewise can wind up influencing your physical wellbeing too. In certain cases, emotional pain can cause physical pain.

While psychological pain is frequently expelled as being less genuine than physical pain, it is significant that constant emotional pain is paid attention to. At times, you may need to see a doctor before mental pain has enduring outcomes. 

Here are four regular feelings related to the emotional pain that can affect your wellbeing:

  • Sadness 

It includes contained sentiments of grief or disappointment. Holding back those tears takes a great deal of vitality, leaving you feeling depleted, troubled and even pain-filled or sore. It is common to feel depleted or powerless.

Sadness not be mistaken for depression, which can be effectively treated with appropriately endorsed drugs.

If sadness goes on for more than a couple of days and affects your day by day life, it might be important to search out medicinal intercession. You ought to counsel with your primary care physician and be honest about any alcohol or medications you have been utilizing to deal with it and self-medicate.

In case you’re experiencing depression, getting to be abstinent may help improve it, as depression is some of the time brought by alcohol or drug use. Converse with your PCP about whether this is a plausibility before taking antidepressants.

  • Anxiety

Anxiety, fear or worry outcomes in jumpiness, a propensity to alarm, the failure to relax (the “fight” part of the “fight/flight/freeze” reaction, or a feeling of being immobilized or stuck (the “freeze” part of the “fight/flight/freeze” reaction).

In certain individuals, anxiety is an indication of anxiety disorder, and physician endorsed prescription can help. 

Notwithstanding, some anti-anxiety drugs are addictive, so a prescription is generally given with cognitive behavioral therapy. Treatment can help instruct coping methodologies to all the more likely to oversee anxiety symptoms. 

  • Unexpressed anger 

Anger discharges adrenaline, which expands muscle strain and accelerates breathing. This is the ‘fight’ part of the “fight/flight/freeze” response. Without being expressed, the anger causes long term tension, and if not discharged, can wind up detonating in a rage or upheaval.

  • Guilt/Shame 

Guilt and shame frequently bring a feeling of “butterflies” or weight in the stomach. Common among individuals with addictions and constant pain, shame is exacerbated by the requirement for mystery and the powerlessness to get things done for yourself. 

If not decreased, guilt and shame can cause nausea and other stomach problems.


The definition “emotional” is thought to include the elements of beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which might be viewed as a sign of the numerous sources of emotional pain. One method for gathering these various sources of pain was offered by Shneidman, who claimed that mental pain is brought by frustrated psychological needs. For instance, the need for love, self-rule, affiliation, and accomplishment, or the need to eliminate harm, shame, and humiliation. Mental needs were initially described by Henry Murray in 1938 as requirements that inspire human behavior. Shneidman kept up that individuals rate the significance of each need in a different way, which clarifies why individuals’ degree of psychological pain varies when confronted with the equivalent frustrated need.

Related: Emotional instability

In the fields of social psychology and personality psychology, the term social pain is utilized to signify mental torment brought by mischief or danger to a social association; deprivation, humiliation, disgrace and hurt emotions are subtypes of social pain. Emotional pain powers the appraisal of real or potential social issues that may decrease the person’s readiness for survival. How we show our mental pain socially (for instance, crying, yelling, groaning) effectively indicates that we are in need.

How to deal with emotional pain

Emotional pain tends to worsen your health and it is extremely useful to know about ways to sit it. There are a few common exercises that may help you to overcome your pain: 

  1. Share your problem. It is very important to talk about a problem with the friends you trust. Tell them what disturbs you, ask about help to sort things out. Try to bring the solution to the logical end, when you feel that negative emotions disappeared. Even if the problem is not solved, you still will feel better after the discussion. 
  2. If you don’t have a friend you trust, you can simply write your story on the paper. Write everything in detail, pretending you are talking to someone. 
  3. In case someone offended you and you couldn’t find the right response, you can write a sincere letter to this person. Write purposefully everything that you think about the situation. Try to be sincere, don’t be shy, imagine the person you address the letter mentally. After it is written, read it through once more and just burn it. 
  4. Record a monologue on a voice recorder. Listen to your record a few times and add anything you missed. 

Also, to resist emotional pain you may use stress management programs that often consist of breathing & stretching exercises, yoga, meditation or massage.

Below, Van Dijk, author of the book Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life, shared three ways we can sit with our emotions. 

  1. Observe your emotions 
  2. Sit your emotions by recognizing what you are experiencing without judging yourself. For example “I’m feeling hurt that my friend chose to go to the concert instead of spending time with me. I’m having worry thoughts about what this means for our friendship. I’m feeling like I want to cry — my throat is tightening up. Now I’m noticing that I’m starting to judge myself because I don’t want to cry. This is uncomfortable, but I’m OK; I can tolerate this.”
  3. Validate your emotions
  4. Validating your feelings means accepting them. Once more, you don’t pass judgment on your emotions, and along with this trigger additional pain. Here is the example: Joe says something in their session, she finds herself getting angry with him. If she invalidates her emotions, she’d think: “Oh my god, I’m feeling angry with Joe. What’s wrong with me? He’s my client. I’m supposed to be helping him, not feeling angry with him!”. Besides, this likewise makes her feel blameworthy and angry with herself for blowing up at Joe, and she feels anxious about not being a decent specialist. Validating her emotions can simply mean saying, “OK, I’m feeling angry with Joe right now.” 
  5. Focus on the present

It’s additionally useful to concentrate on the present, rather than “floundering” in the experience. We flounder when we focus on the feeling, judge ourselves or judge the individual or circumstance that sets off our emotions. We may harp on the circumstance and ruminate about the details.


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